Day 130: Parental Loss and Love

A dear friend of mine lost her mother to cancer a couple of years ago.  We have shared a bond of losing a parent through this experience and even though I lost a father and hers was her mother--it pretty much comes down to the same basic feelings when THE parent you lose meant the world to you!  She recently shared this post and I wanted to share it here for my own children.  It is beautifully written and will likely make you cry--even if you haven't lost a parent.  If you just ARE one--you will find beauty in her words!


The parts that struck a strong chord with me:

For a long time(after Mother's death) I didn't understand how I could (for me, it was.....I didn't understand how I could ever feel joy again)

And then I had you, (my children). And I became a mother myself. I wrapped my arms around you, your little breaths hot and quick on my neck. I learned how to rock you to sleep, how to pick you up when you fell, how to make you giggle, how to make your eyes light up with wonder. I held you closer than I've ever held anyone and I vowed that I would never, ever let you go (and my life was full of joy again!)

This bond (parent/child) between us -- the one between she and I, and the ones between you and me -- is something utterly intangible, unbreakable, and unstoppable. Nothing, not distance or silence or chaos or death, could ever undo this connection we have.

Mothers are mysterious creatures. For us women, they at once anchor us and support us. They hold us back and teach us how to go forth. We rebel against the women they are, and we desperately try to become the women they are. I know that throughout your lifetimes you will push and pull against me as only daughters can do.

There will be times . (as a my child)...., when you question every decision I have ever made, when you frown upon all the things that I am. And there will be other times in which you try to fit your very shadow to match mine, times in which you wish with everything you are that you could be me. These swifts kicks and tugs will overlap so many times that you may never be quite sure what it is you want from me.

Even now, 18 years after her death, I can feel her all around me, her existence inextricably linked to mine.

What a blessing PARENTAL LOVE is!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-bidwell-smith/dear-girls-on-half-a-lifetime-without-my-mother_b_4653980.html