Saturday, December 15, 2012

Day 57: Life, precious life

With the sadening, horrible news of the tragedy in CT......I post today in prayerful mourning of the lives lost.  I am certain that many are continuing their facebook,twitter and blog status updates as usual......but I can't bring myself to.  To me, it just seems that a moment of silence is in need......monumentally......and my only post would be.... no words......just prayer.

May God comfort and help to heal those affected.  May they find that their faith sustains them.  May their tragic heartbreak bring a light to this world that now more than ever, we need God.

As the stories unfold, much like other tragedies......we hear heroic deeds and countless acts of goodness among those facing the greatest evil they have ever known.

My daughter has already been writing.  Writing  a beautiful song inspired by her deep desire to help.  I cannot fathom this evil, yet I know God has an ability to turn all evil for something good.  My prayer is that the good that can come from this horrific evident to those who need to know it most.  And I pray that we always recognize just how precious life is.  A gift.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Day 56:proud mommy moment number #we'llcallthisoneSharon:)

Tonight my son had to write an essay for a scholarship application and he brainstormed events from his life that might fit the criteria.  Upon reflection, he selected a special memory that is dear to my heart.  I have been on the family meals committee of our church for years and when a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer, I instantly signed up to bring her family of 5 meals.  
On this one particular time I had cooked lasagne and it was drizzling out on this night that we stopped by to deliver the meal.  I instantly noticed how unkempt the home was and the obvious disarray of a home I'd come to know as well kept.  
Let me tell you about the mother of this family.  She had 5 children all under age 12 and her youngest was just 4 months old when she was diagnosed with cancer.  She had homeschooled all of her kids and was a devout Catholic but first and foremost she was a Christian.  I met her at the city pool in our town the summer her family moved in.  We had an instant connection and her sweet, genuine nature was easy to like.  She began telling me how she homeschooled her kids and being a teacher, I was quite interested in her reasons for such a decision.  We became friends and I even gave her some books that she could use with her children. 
For the next couple of years we saw each other mostly through church functions but she had started making rosaries and when my oldest daughter was ready for her first communion, I knew I wanted Sharon to make it for us.  Just a few months later, Sharon became ill.  Her illness progressed quite quickly.  Now on this particular night when we visited to bring her and her family the meal......I was quite shaken by her frail appearance but as she lived her life, she remained unshaken and faithful about her prognosis.  She was downright positive that she was going to get better and return to her normal activities.  I wasn't sure if her positive attitude was in protection of her children or if it was truly how she chose to approach her illness.   Whichever it was is not the point.  The point was that knowing Sharon made me a better person.  She made me want to be a better mom and she made me all the more aware of the preciousness our time on this earth is.....especially in regard to our children. 
After visiting  briefly, the family thanked us for the meal and we began to leave.  I will never forget the overwhelming feeling that I hug and kiss her before I left.  It was a thought that crossed my mind only for a second and instantly the answer was "do it, this will be the last time you see her alive".  I can only believe that God was speaking to me and so I brazenly approached her, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. 
I don't know how I managed to hold back the tears.....I think part of me wanted to be strong for Sharon.  She had been so positive throughout her terrible illness and it didn't seem right for me to cry in her presence.  So I made it out the door to her carport.....and as I left the safe covering, the rain which was now heavy, came pouring down upon me.  It was all I needed to allow that release.  I began balling as my children and I ran to our vehicle.  My older children were very quiet but my youngest was quite concerned, asking "mommy, mommy, what's wrong?".  Through sobs I told them that this would be the last time we would see Sharon alive.  I told them that the next time we see would be at her funeral.  My youngest, still very concerned, said "how do you know that mommy?"  and I said "I just do. "  And I did.  Just like I knew I had to kiss her goodbye......I knew it was the last time I'd see her alive.  It was a very sad ride home and in under a week, Sharon passed. 
I will never forget that night.  It played out like a scene in a movie.  God's movie.  I'm so glad my children were with me and got to share in that experience and I'm even more proud that it impacted my oldest son enough to want to write about it for a scholarship application several years later. 

As a side note, I will add (just for those of you reading who are painfully wondering how her family dealt with such a tragic loss).....about a year after her passing, Sharon's husband met a woman with kids of her own and they married, moved away and began their new life together.  I keep up with them distantly through social networks but it gives me some sense of peace to see them smiling and enjoying life.....just as Sharon would have wanted.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Day 55: Proud Mommy Moment #toomanytocount

So I don't usually post things like this, but I am taking a proud mommy moment here!

This is probably the nicest note I've ever received from a teacher about one of my children and it brought tears to my eyes because she so eloquently described precisely how we feel about our sweet Belle and the goodness we see in her every day. It was nice to hear it from a teacher who most certainly does not have the time to write this kind of hand written note on every child, nor is she expected to do so, but somehow ......she did. Thank you Ms. Robinette