On this one particular time I had cooked lasagne and it was drizzling out on this night that we stopped by to deliver the meal. I instantly noticed how unkempt the home was and the obvious disarray of a home I'd come to know as well kept.
Let me tell you about the mother of this family. She had 5 children all under age 12 and her youngest was just 4 months old when she was diagnosed with cancer. She had homeschooled all of her kids and was a devout Catholic but first and foremost she was a Christian. I met her at the city pool in our town the summer her family moved in. We had an instant connection and her sweet, genuine nature was easy to like. She began telling me how she homeschooled her kids and being a teacher, I was quite interested in her reasons for such a decision. We became friends and I even gave her some books that she could use with her children.
For the next couple of years we saw each other mostly through church functions but she had started making rosaries and when my oldest daughter was ready for her first communion, I knew I wanted Sharon to make it for us. Just a few months later, Sharon became ill. Her illness progressed quite quickly. Now on this particular night when we visited to bring her and her family the meal......I was quite shaken by her frail appearance but as she lived her life, she remained unshaken and faithful about her prognosis. She was downright positive that she was going to get better and return to her normal activities. I wasn't sure if her positive attitude was in protection of her children or if it was truly how she chose to approach her illness. Whichever it was is not the point. The point was that knowing Sharon made me a better person. She made me want to be a better mom and she made me all the more aware of the preciousness our time on this earth is.....especially in regard to our children.
After visiting briefly, the family thanked us for the meal and we began to leave. I will never forget the overwhelming feeling that I had.....to hug and kiss her before I left. It was a thought that crossed my mind only for a second and instantly the answer was "do it, this will be the last time you see her alive". I can only believe that God was speaking to me and so I brazenly approached her, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.
I don't know how I managed to hold back the tears.....I think part of me wanted to be strong for Sharon. She had been so positive throughout her terrible illness and it didn't seem right for me to cry in her presence. So I made it out the door to her carport.....and as I left the safe covering, the rain which was now heavy, came pouring down upon me. It was all I needed to allow that release. I began balling as my children and I ran to our vehicle. My older children were very quiet but my youngest was quite concerned, asking "mommy, mommy, what's wrong?". Through sobs I told them that this would be the last time we would see Sharon alive. I told them that the next time we see her......it would be at her funeral. My youngest, still very concerned, said "how do you know that mommy?" and I said "I just do. " And I did. Just like I knew I had to kiss her goodbye......I knew it was the last time I'd see her alive. It was a very sad ride home and in under a week, Sharon passed.
I will never forget that night. It played out like a scene in a movie. God's movie. I'm so glad my children were with me and got to share in that experience and I'm even more proud that it impacted my oldest son enough to want to write about it for a scholarship application several years later.
As a side note, I will add (just for those of you reading who are painfully wondering how her family dealt with such a tragic loss).....about a year after her passing, Sharon's husband met a woman with kids of her own and they married, moved away and began their new life together. I keep up with them distantly through social networks but it gives me some sense of peace to see them smiling and enjoying life.....just as Sharon would have wanted.
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